What Goes Into A Move
I’m not the kind of girl who has a pack of girlfriends with me wherever I go. I don’t watch sappy movies, read love stories, or take periodic “girl trips.” Nope, I’m more on the “guy” end of the emotional spectrum than the “girl” end. I’d rather sit on the back porch and drink a beer with the guys than sit in the kitchen and discuss DIY projects with the girls. Now please don’t get me wrong; I’m impressed to no end with some of my friends’ abilities to make their own clothes, wreaths and furniture. I’d love to get lost in a romance novel while sipping a glass of white wine (my sister-in-law has taken this from a pastime to a professional sport). I’m just not built that way. In short, I’m not a very emotional person…unless I’m moving.
Why We Move
Have you ever thought about why people move from one house to another, sometimes even within the same neighborhood? Rarely do people come to me and say, “We want to move for no reason whatsoever!” Something has happened. Something has changed. Reasons range from a new baby to a recent family death, a promotion to becoming job loss, marriage to divorce, a growing family to an empty nest, or a new-found independence to health problems. If you think about it, buying or selling a house is the result of big changes in someone’s life, and those changes (or losses) usually mean big emotional impacts.
Have you ever been house shopping with an eight and half month pregnant woman? Or a man who needs to find a wheelchair accessible house before his MS limits his mobility? How about a mother and father who just sent the last of their children to college and who needs to downsize? All of these people are different in a million ways but they will, at some point, share one thing in common – momentary madness. These life changes can be scary and unnerving, and sometimes my agents and I have to shift from Realtor to counselor.
There’s no point in asking people to ignore their emotions and make good decisions based only on business or common sense. More often than none, they just can’t do it. Some Realtors are afraid to upset their clients, so they just follow them around and stick them in the first house they can. Not us. We’ll take the time to listen to your concerns and anxieties, but we’ll also have the courage to keep you on track and avoid the pitfalls of making rash decisions. We’ll remind you what is most important to you, and encourage you to stick to your values and needs. Buyer regret is bad enough when it’s an ugly sweater – imagine how awful it is with an ugly house!
I am a Girl, After All
So guess what happened when it was my time to move. Yes, I was a mess. The home where I had rocked my babies to sleep, watched them take their first steps and celebrated their birthdays, was going to be inhabited by strangers. STRANGERS! What a cruel and harsh world we live in! As people walked through and discussed the changes they would make to suit their own family, my heart sank. “This house is warm, inviting, and PERFECT just the way it is!” I wanted to shout. And then there was the new house. My sweet little girls were excited to have a pool but were so sad to leave behind their favorite hiding places and the swingset in the back yard. I was sure that I was ruining their childhood. I was, unbelievably and uncharacteristically, emotional. Gasp!
Rear View Mirror
If you are feeling the sting of selling your home or the anxiety about moving into a new one, take comfort. My children, as luck would have it, did not turn to drugs and alcohol when we moved (which is good since they were only 8 and 10). They found new hiding places and played on the neighbors swing set. They had new firsts (and some lasts), and our old home is now just a fond, distant memory. The new inhabitants have changed nearly everything about our old home, but every memory we made there is still intact. My husband likes to remind me, “Quit looking in the rear view mirror. You’re not going that way.” True story, honey. True story.
Good luck out there!